As we all know, Donald Trump is a master builder (along with being a master debater and all-around master of his domain (shout out to Larry David; see Seinfeld’s The Contest episode).
That’s why it’s surpassing strange and inappropriate for the press to challenge Trump on the size of the slice lawlessly made by the nefarious (and extremely clever so as not to be seen or caught on video) vandals who ruthlessly attacked the reflecting pool, pond, or whatever it’s called.
Up until now, Trump has complained about a 300-350 foot slit, gash (“I was taking a bath”) (copyright estates of Bobby Darin and Murray Kaufman) in the beautiful “American flag blue” liner that he tastefully had installed in the reflecting pool. (The reflecting pool liner work was done through a no-bid contract, but that was necessary, okay? Trump knows what he’s doing, okay? Sheesh.)
Now, Trump has revealed that the 300-350 foot gash was a 300 yard gash, and the press is crowing about how the size of the gash has tripled in Trump’s retellings. As if a yard is three times longer than a foot, and as if Trump–who, as noted, is a master builder–doesn’t know the difference between a foot and a yard (assuming there is a difference, which may be true in your reality but not necessarily in MAGA world).
So before people get off on their high horses about this, let’s remember who the expert is here.
Fortunately, Trump has also reassured us that the pool will be refilled and “put back into service” soon. I look forward to availing myself of the pool’s services when that happens.