Trump wants to build a 250-foot arch on a small plot of land between the Lincoln Memorial and Arlington Memorial Cemetery. Some think this is yet another Trump vanity project, and, indeed, it wouldn’t be surprising if he names the arch after himself–“The Arc de Trump-Oaf” has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?
But don’t be fooled. This isn’t really about Trump.
No. the arch is about love–a love that has endured over the course of marriages, affairs, bankruptcies, and erstwhile friendships (I’m talking about you, Jeffrey Epstein). A love that time (so far) hasn’t erased, and that shines brightly even as steps have slowed, speech has slurred, billions have been amassed, debts have gone unpaid, prison sentences have been dodged, and makeup on hands and face has faded. Through it all, the arch has remained a holy grail. And now, Trump is on the precipice of realizing his vision. The grail in within his grasp!
How fitting that now, in this auspicious moment, Trump’s one true love has brought back the BIG ARCH™ Meal: “two juicy quarter-pound* 100% beef patties” (* weight before cooking), “layered with three slices of cheddar cheese,” “crispy and slivered onions, zesty pickles and lettuce” (he’ll pass on the lettuce), with a special sauce, and, of course, fries and a soft drink–a dainty 1600+ calories.
An arch worthy of the Trumpian arch which, though 250 feet tall, will be but a modest tribute to the arches that serve as Trump’s north star–arches for which Trump would–and perhaps will–give his life.